March 26, 2026

MONEY DOESN’T CHANGE PEOPLE — IT JUST EXPOSES THEM!

MONEY DOESN’T CHANGE PEOPLE — IT JUST EXPOSES THEM!

Send us Fan Mail What’s life really like inside the world of private jets, billionaires, and extreme luxury? Melissa Sue Methvin, a former private flight attendant, takes us behind the scenes of extreme wealth. She shares how power and money reveal people’s true colors, why boundaries are essential, and what life looks like beyond the glamour. She also talks about the pressures shaping the next generation: social media, luxury obsession, and why building wealth with heart matters. Meli...

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Season 1

Send us Fan Mail

What’s life really like inside the world of private jets, billionaires, and extreme luxury? 

Melissa Sue Methvin, a former private flight attendant, takes us behind the scenes of extreme wealth. She shares how power and money reveal people’s true colors, why boundaries are essential, and what life looks like beyond the glamour.

She also talks about the pressures shaping the next generation: social media, luxury obsession, and why building wealth with heart matters. Melissa opens up about burnout in dentistry, losing her husband to suicide, and the lessons she’s learned about resilience, mental health, and faith.

For anyone who wants a grounded, honest look at success, purpose, and life with integrity, this episode delivers.

Subscribe, share, and leave a review sharing what success means to you.

00:00 - Why Underdogs Matter

00:42 - Introducing Melissa And The Big Question

05:08 - Inside The Ultra Wealthy World

08:06 - Power, Boundaries, And Being “The Help”

12:18 - The Surreal Maxwell Encounter

17:37 - Social Media’s Broken Success Script

22:22 - Picture Perfect Life And Hidden Pain

27:59 - Dentistry, Burnout, And Suicide Risk

35:42 - Faith, Grief, And Finding Strength

44:33 - Final Takeaways And Where To Follow

WEBVTT

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Hello and welcome to Underdogs, Bootstrappers, and Game Changers.

00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:11.919
This is for those of you that are starting with nothing and using business to change their stars.

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Motivating people who disrupted industry standards.

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This is the real side of business.

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This isn't Shark Tank.

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My aim with this podcast is to take away some of the imaginary Problocks that are out there.

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I want to help more underdogs because underdogs are truly to change the world.

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This is part of our Content for Good initiative.

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All the proceeds from the monetization of this podcast will go to charitable causes.

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It's for the person that wants it.

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Underdogs, Bootstrappers, and Game Changers.

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Once again in the studio, I've got a great friend, Melissa Sue.

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How are you doing?

00:00:52.479 --> 00:00:53.679
I'm doing fantastic.

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I love to be sitting right here because behind the cameras, we're always chatting.

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We are.

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And that's why it's like we're having a conversation today that I wanted to peel out into something that's great for the audience.

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Really, it's funny, we've known each other quite a long time.

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And I was telling the team, I'm like, and you think you know somebody.

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You know, we started talking about like wealth, right?

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And wealth impact and imagery and you know, things like that on society.

00:01:18.319 --> 00:01:22.799
Um, and where I really want to go with an episode today is you've had some interesting run-ins.

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You were, you met Julene, I don't even know how to say it, Maxwell from the Epstein.

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She's Slan Maswell.

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Yeah.

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You were uh a private flight attendant and like uh former presidents and big uh Yeah, President Clinton and the Secret Service.

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We flew around uh globally around the world.

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This is all in my early 20s, you know, so a couple decades.

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Yeah.

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You know, it's and it's really interesting because I believe that society um should excuse me, I believe that wealth um and success comes with obligation.

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And, you know, we were both exposed um, you know, in our younger years, myself through country clubs and bartending and things like that in college, and you through um, you know, private flight attending around some of the richest people in the world.

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Uh, and I really want to get the point home, um, especially with the way that society is looking at wealth and success these days, that let's make good people get to success.

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And it feels like we're getting an unbalanced amount of uh of poor moral people in positions of power and success.

00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:35.599
And you know, it's usually not something I want to touch on, but I like I really for my underdogs, I want them to we need more good people making it, you know, is what it comes down to.

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Yes, I I want that too.

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And that's why for me, the more it builds success, the more it's so I could give back.

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Yes, right, and use it for good.

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Whereas I think we've seen it where we've seen some people with just a lot of money and how corrupt it was.

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Yeah.

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And where we idealize, you know, as a young girl, I know you idealize, like, wow, to own a private jet, to fly around the world is like, that's it.

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You want to make it to that.

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Yeah.

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I mean, young men, the same thing.

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We see the Ferrari guy, and like every young man thinks he needs a bunch of money to get a girlfriend, you know, and it's like it's crazy.

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It has more to do with um having a mission, you know, like having something like correct me if I'm wrong.

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Women mostly want to see that you have some sort of plan and work ethic.

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Yes, yes.

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You know, it's like some ambition, you know.

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Uh yeah.

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And like, and like a lot of women, you know, like, and I don't want to speak for them, but I around a lot of them, you know, it's like uh it's less to do with what you have and where you're going and the type of person that you are.

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Yeah, generous.

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I mean, for me, I think as a woman, I was never into, I could just see right through the egotistic man where, yeah, they could be really good looking, they have the career, they're nicely dressed, they have all the money, but I could see in their heart that wasn't being used for good.

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Yeah.

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And I'd rather, way rather have the guy who has the good heart still has the ambition, may not be has what people perceive as the major model type, you know?

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And but that for me was so attractive because they're generous uh with their money, uh, with their heart, with their time, and where they're going.

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And I think that for me as a young woman, that's what I was more attracted to.

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And I almost was for me to see a man uh using his power of money and good looks to not use it for good, for me right away, he was ugly.

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Like he was just I'm turned off by that.

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It's amazing how ugly people can get, you know, so quickly when you learn that they're an awful person or you know, like uh when you see their heart, so to speak.

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It's like it doesn't matter what the billboard says for like the beauty as a whole, but people can get ugly really quickly.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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You know, and seeing you and I, I believe are really fortunate to have seen the like um big side of like success, or at least what the world I my my definition of success is completely different than the world's.

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I use this definition of success because that's what most people picture, right?

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You know, but that's actually not my definition of success and hasn't been for 15 years, you know.

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So um, but most people's, right?

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And like you were around a lot of wealthy people, private planes, you got to be on another level.

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It's a whole different that's I kept on saying that to people.

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I'm like, what I see on a daily basis is okay, a limousine bringing you to your private aircraft.

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Then on a private aircraft, we cater, we you land at private airports.

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I've landed at the Dubai Royal Airport where there's a red carpet, people meeting you.

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Sometimes there's a Blackhawk helicopter landing for you to bring you to another destination.

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I mean, you're going just for a weekend trip to a wedding in India, a nine-day wedding.

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And then I see an entire fleet of private jets.

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Uh, one time, actually, at the Dubai uh airport, where the Royal Airport, I kept on asking the workers there.

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I was like, oh my gosh, there was a triple seven, you know, the double deckers.

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Yeah.

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I'm like, I want to go see in there.

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Uh-huh.

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I mean, all gold gold plated.

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There's hot tubs, there's, you know, it's just a whole different level of money.

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I mean, there's wealthy, and then there's the uber wealthy.

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And that for me, what I saw, what it did, it almost made me really sad at times.

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Yes.

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Because I would truly see these men, they would share sometimes, oh, the pictures of their wives and kids.

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And but then what I saw on the other side sometimes was like, then there's drugs, and then there's escorts, and then there's this.

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And I'm like, wow.

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Yep.

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That was so corrupt.

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You know, I saw the same thing working at the country club.

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These are the pillars of society, right?

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And they'd have these like events and things like that, and they would order in strippers.

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And these are like old men, you know, like like some of them younger, 40s, 50s, but 60s, 70s, and they're throwing rolls at the strippers and like getting in insanely drunk, like a bunch of frat boys, you know, with like a bigger wallet.

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And it really grossed me out.

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It was actually one of the turning points in my own life because I had this illusion growing up a poor kid that you had to have like something different.

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You know, it was like something different that I didn't have that got you to success.

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That brought me to it, it was such a gift because it brought me to the normalcy of successful people.

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And a lot of times you find out their dad was part of the country club and their dad's dad was.

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So then it was a lot of like inherited wealth and that sort of stuff handed down.

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And I got such a chip on my shoulder about like the way they treated me too.

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And I'm curious, it's like I was treated very poorly, you know, at the country club.

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Like every once in a while you'd get somebody that was decent.

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But you know what's funny is usually they come in decent and then they like they would change, they would get like more mean to you.

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They treat you like the help.

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I had one people person even call me the help when I worked there.

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So curious your experience, especially as a beautiful woman.

00:08:06.480 --> 00:08:24.959
So yeah, I tell you, my experience, I was very grateful that my boss, who owned the aircraft, was so grounded, but I I truly feel because he was self-made and he was always rooted in keeping um seeing his friends and grounded in who he was, and he did a lot of service.

00:08:25.199 --> 00:08:35.679
And I think that's why we had President Clinton foundation on because he donated his aircraft for what he was doing, and we traveled the world uh to do things of service.

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And at a time, his wife was also doing humanitarian work in Africa, but so I was treated like we were one of them and not the help.

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And in fact, we were sometimes invited out for dinners or tours, and and so I really loved that.

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But I would land at all the private airports, yeah, and I would uh have conversations with other flight attendants, and they would tell me that they were treated like the help.

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Like it was just so different.

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And the only time I actually experienced that, it was interesting, we were actually uh celebrating Prince Clinton's 60th birthday.

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So we're shuttling people to his birthday party.

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And then I had a whole bunch of celebrities on.

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So I met lots of celebrities, and that's where I was treated like the help.

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Interesting.

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So certain celebrities that came on, all of a sudden I'm like, oh, welcome aboard, doing my thing, you know, and offering a drink because this is not their aircraft they're coming on.

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We're we're shuttling them with this beautiful that he was a huge aircraft.

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I mean, it had a bedroom, shower, you know, beautiful aircraft that we were on.

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And they're like, oh no, no, you don't, you don't talk to him, you talk only to his assistant.

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And I'm like, oh, I wasn't used to that, you know?

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And I'm like, okay, this is different energy.

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This is different.

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And so that's where I did experience that, where I was more treated like the help.

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You know, I'm less than.

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Yeah.

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But I and I did hear that from a lot of other flight attendants working on other planes.

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Like it was so strict, it was and they were the help.

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Uh, but I was grateful that I was never treated that way with my boss per se.

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And uh so I am really grateful for those experiences.

00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:32.799
I know we were also when I was invited out for dinner, though, I always made sure, because in my early 20s, I could have been easily always persuaded, you know, on dates, with the older men's that would come on there.

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I definitely, you know, there were there was people, you know, definitely doing that.

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But I knew I would never want to put myself in that situation going into these things alone with an older man.

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So I for more out of curiosity, when I was, oh, maybe invited to a party, I was like, well, I only go if I have the two pilots with me.

00:10:52.639 --> 00:10:52.799
Yeah.

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And then they were like, oh no, you know, but I just knew to keep it always professional too, and not to get lost in like, oh, I'm really curious.

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I want to go.

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Because then I could put myself, yeah, because one time I was invited, we've had landed in the BVI, and the helicopter was waiting for them to bring them to this other island.

00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:15.600
And who knows if it was the Epstein, I don't know.

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Yeah.

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Right.

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And I was so tempted just out of curiosity, but I knew better if I don't put myself in that situation when all of a sudden I'm by myself, yeah, trapped on this island, yeah.

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What kind of situation I might put myself in.

00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:39.360
So I always so had to be staying grounded and not uh in lost in all the glamour.

00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:39.759
Yeah.

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You know, the excitement of wanting to experience it.

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I had to really stay grounded in who I was too as a woman and how to stay professional.

00:11:50.080 --> 00:11:55.679
It's so hard because um beautiful young women have a lot of things thrown at them, right?

00:11:55.840 --> 00:12:09.919
And it's like, and you never know who's intentioned or not very well intentioned, and you know, uh the I one story I wanted to get to with you is like you mentioned going to Thailand, you know, and then sitting next to Juline Maxwell.

00:12:10.159 --> 00:12:11.279
It's a Ghislene.

00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:12.240
It's a French name.

00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:14.080
Yeah, I don't say it very well.

00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:16.399
Gislaine Maxwell, yeah.

00:12:16.639 --> 00:12:18.399
Yeah, could you tell me a little bit more about that experience?

00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:28.960
Yeah, that is still so surreal because I didn't know who she was, but when the whole Epstein story coming it came out, I was like, oh my goodness.

00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:31.120
Like I I met this woman.

00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:32.559
I flew with her.

00:12:32.720 --> 00:12:37.759
We um she wasn't on aircraft, but she had was following with another private jet.

00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:42.639
And we had gone out for a dinner in Thailand and she sat beside me.

00:12:42.799 --> 00:12:49.039
And I do remember recall her saying, Hey, I'll take some pictures, do you mine, and I'll send them to you.

00:12:49.120 --> 00:12:49.279
Yeah.

00:12:49.519 --> 00:12:50.879
I was like, Oh, yeah, great.

00:12:51.039 --> 00:12:52.960
You know, we had toured the next day.

00:12:53.039 --> 00:13:01.200
We had flown to Cambodia and we t toured all the temples with um President Clinton and the Secret Service, and then she was there as well.

00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:01.679
Yeah.

00:13:02.240 --> 00:13:16.720
And I now when I heard about the Epstein story, where she would be the lady who takes pictures, bring backs pictures, and I'm like, wow, yeah, this could have been, you know, maybe a part of that whole story.

00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:19.600
Do you think she was kind of like nefariously acting in that?

00:13:19.759 --> 00:13:21.440
Like, was she trying to Yeah?

00:13:21.759 --> 00:13:22.720
I mean, she seemed really nice.

00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:26.159
I would have never guessed, like, I'm usually I'm pretty intuitive.

00:13:26.320 --> 00:13:30.960
I did really didn't feel anything off from her and just like, oh, I want to take pictures.

00:13:31.039 --> 00:13:32.399
It seemed very normal.

00:13:32.639 --> 00:13:36.960
And so I was really caught off guard when I saw that story.

00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:37.919
No kidding.

00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:42.080
Because I couldn't believe how close, you know, I worked with one of my best friend as a flight attendant.

00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:43.679
She was there as well that day.

00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:53.440
And I was like, wow, I can't believe it that, you know, we were with this woman who's doing such awful things to young women, and we were young women at the time.

00:13:53.600 --> 00:13:53.840
Yeah.

00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:56.559
And how we didn't get integrated into that.

00:13:56.639 --> 00:14:00.240
Um well, it sounds like a lot of you've you've been smart with it.

00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:05.440
Like uh Kim Alex is a friend of mine, she's one of the most covered supermodels of all time.

00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:16.240
And she talks all the time about how they would like try to pressure her into doing topless things or like put her next door to the room of the editor of the magazine or not get the cover and things sort of.

00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:20.000
They put her in all these different situations and she'd put her foot down and say no.

00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:22.879
And I think that's hard for a lot of women to do.

00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:24.000
You know, I can't even imagine.

00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:24.720
I'm not even sure.

00:14:24.879 --> 00:14:25.360
Oh, trust me.

00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:32.080
I there are like it's like, oh, you had the, you know, the the angel and the devil looks like sitting when you're being given such a big opportunity.

00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:34.000
I still remember like it was yesterday.

00:14:34.080 --> 00:14:34.320
Yeah.

00:14:34.480 --> 00:14:41.840
When I was offered to go to this private island party and hop on this helicopter with everyone, but I was like, no.

00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:44.399
And see who who knows what it would happen, you know?

00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:45.200
I don't know.

00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:46.720
Especially with everything coming out.

00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:47.120
Yeah.

00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:53.039
You know, it's and this this isn't, we're not diving into politics and conspiracy.

00:14:53.120 --> 00:15:01.120
And what Mel and I want for you from this conversation is we really want you to see, we really want more successful people making it that want to do some good in the world.

00:15:01.200 --> 00:15:01.360
Yes.

00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:03.919
You know, I think, and I were I used to worry so much.

00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:05.120
And how do you feel about this?

00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:09.440
It's like, I at first thought you had to be an asshole to be successful in business.

00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:11.039
That was what the world had taught me.

00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:12.080
I was like 20 years old.

00:15:12.159 --> 00:15:15.600
I'm like, no way I can be a business owner because those guys have to be assholes.

00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:22.559
I really thought that, you know, and it's like, I thought you had to be an asshole to be successful, you know, and it's not the case at all.

00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:30.480
You know, and we love to say, oh, I treat the um the employee like the CEO, or I put treat the janitor and the CEO the same.

00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:32.559
That's not my experience for the most part.

00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:45.039
People love to say that, you know, but um to that point, it's like I find that a lot of people that get to success, the money empowers them either to be really good or really bad.

00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:45.519
Yeah.

00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:48.159
I actually, good example of that.

00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:54.799
I have some neighbors, they are very successful, but they're using it for so much good.

00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:55.120
Yeah.

00:15:55.279 --> 00:16:07.440
I mean, they are such a beautiful family of like, yes, I could see why God gifted them all of this because they keep utilizing it to give back to community.

00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:09.360
I mean, even they own places all over.

00:16:09.600 --> 00:16:11.440
They're always open house.

00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:11.679
Yeah.

00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:15.759
People can use it, but they give back so much more to the community in so many ways.

00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:23.360
And they've adopted you know, children of four children of them, uh, you know, four children to give them a better life.

00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:26.320
And and they just do so much good.

00:16:26.480 --> 00:16:33.519
And I think we need more people like that to have money of power to use it for good.

00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:37.759
And I and that's really why for me, I'm like, I'm comfortable.

00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:38.399
Yeah.

00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:49.519
But if I do get more, I do want, you know, dreams of opening up healing fill facilities for families, yeah, where the whole family can come and integration.

00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:51.679
But yeah, it it costs all money, right?

00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:55.039
And I mean, money's a tool and it's a productive tool.

00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:57.440
And like, I feel like too often it's in the wrong hands.

00:16:57.600 --> 00:16:59.600
That's actually a big reason I started all this stuff.

00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:01.919
It's like I wanted more good-hearted people making it.

00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:06.240
You know, it's like, because people do say like money accentuates whatever.

00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:09.759
If you're a good person, it makes you an even better person because you do a lot with it.

00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:15.039
If you're a bad person, it makes you even a worse person because they start exploring their perversions, right?

00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:20.400
And they get dis desensitized to it because once you can have anything you want, then they go further, you know?

00:17:20.559 --> 00:17:23.200
It's like we don't need people like that making it.

00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:23.680
Yes.

00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:26.079
You know, we need more good-hearted people making it.

00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:29.359
And so, like, I wanted to lift the curtain today around that sort of stuff.

00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:37.279
You and I talk a lot about like success and impact, you know, and that's one thing I like absolutely adore about all of our conversations.

00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:54.720
It's like getting people to realize that it's like we were talking earlier, and I'm like, you know, some days I have that like feeling it's like, I don't want to play anymore, you know, I want I want to kind of take my ball and go home because the world feels so frustrating with the messaging it's putting out there, with what we say is happiness and like it's not at all, you know.

00:17:54.799 --> 00:18:01.200
It's like if you just have the Ferrari and the OnlyFans girlfriend, and you know, that's what they're telling young men these days, you know?

00:18:01.359 --> 00:18:05.359
And young women, it's kind of like, hey, find yourself the sugar daddy, you know?

00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:08.319
They're saying marry first time for his money and the second time for love.

00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:10.400
It's like because money is security, right?

00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:11.759
Women want security.

00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:22.160
But what what I found women who marry just for that security, just a life of kind of a loneliness and misery and no boundaries.

00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:26.960
And so it was kind of a lonely, sad marriage, right?

00:18:27.279 --> 00:18:46.240
And so, yeah, if we can just teach young men, young women that to truly love themselves and and seek out their own power to make money and use it for good and find somebody else as well as a partner that is wants to do the same.

00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:56.799
You know, don't get blinded by all the accolades that someone might have, or that Ferrari or that fancy car or that private jet, you know.

00:18:56.960 --> 00:19:02.640
And I think a lot of us we we glorify it and uh just make sure we're not giving that the power.

00:19:02.960 --> 00:19:04.640
Well, and then and help me here too.

00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:09.759
It's like so many people that seemingly have everything, you know, are the most miserable people I've ever met.

00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:10.400
Oh, yes.

00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:10.880
Right?

00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:18.799
They're the ones like getting to the country club, showering off their mistress, you know, it's like while trying to play in family guy when no when everybody's looking, you know.

00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:22.079
So we saw that a lot, and that made me so sad.

00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:22.400
Yeah.

00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:24.240
Almost made me angry at men.

00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:25.599
I'm like, are they all like this?

00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:26.079
Yeah.

00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:30.240
Like I had a hard time trusting men, you know, seeing that.

00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:33.039
Yeah, it well, and it it's like it's gotten even worse, I think.

00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:48.400
I was watching that Manosphere documentary on Netflix, and it's about like basically these 24-year-old-ish males that are alpha males that are like um they're racist, they're homophobic, they're telling you to like basically your woman should do everything for you.

00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:52.799
They're allowed to sleep with as many people as you they want, but you're not allowed to sleep with anybody, you know.

00:19:52.880 --> 00:19:56.319
And so, like, I'm seeing that side, and then they you find out they don't even believe it.

00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:58.720
It's just a griff to get you to give them money, you know?

00:19:58.880 --> 00:20:06.079
And then the other side is like I turned on who's your daddy, and I saw some clips the other day, and this woman was talking, and I kid you not, it was making me blush.

00:20:06.240 --> 00:20:12.880
You know, it was like it was like so pornographic speech that if you closed your eyes, like it would be rated XXX.

00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:14.799
And then I find out she's 24 years old.

00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:18.079
And I'm like, how the heck does she even know this stuff at 24 years old?

00:20:18.240 --> 00:20:28.319
You know, it's like so like inundated these kids these days, it's like it's gotten worse than even, you know, when we were kids, you know, like we had the perception, but we weren't getting hit the way they are.

00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:29.039
Yeah, yeah.

00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:34.160
To be careful what we're trying to steward for our kids, what to they kind of look up to, right?

00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:37.279
My kids joke around too, because they know I've worked on private jets.

00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:39.519
So my daughter's like, one day, well, let's have one.

00:20:39.599 --> 00:20:43.119
I'm like, okay, or my son's really into cars, oh, the Bugatti.

00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:52.000
Yeah, but I'm always like, okay, it's okay to like want these things, but remember, this will not bring you the ultimate happiness.

00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:52.960
I saw it.

00:20:53.119 --> 00:21:04.000
People who had it all, had the Bugatti, had the airplane, there was still unhappiness, there was still divorce, there was still numbing, you know.

00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:14.240
So you really have to find it first, you know, and uh really find just waking up seeing the sunrise.

00:21:14.319 --> 00:21:20.319
Like for me, right now, seeing the sunrise and hearing the little birds outside, that's what brings me happiness.

00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:23.200
And even I'm happy, I'm happy right now.

00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:30.160
And like you were saying, I'm I'm ready to just be like, oh, stop podcasting, stop doing this, because I'm I'm good, I'm at peace.

00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:40.880
But I I'm driven to continue because we need more positive messages, we need more to spread that for generations.

00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:57.039
I am truly trying to change generational patterns of what you know my the father of my kids was taught from a young age, you know, that yeah, money, power, just work, work, work, and that this this will bring you a happiness.

00:21:57.119 --> 00:21:59.519
If I just provide for my family, they'll be happy.

00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.680
No, connection.

00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:02.480
Yeah.

00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:08.480
Connection and um slowness and and so it I think it's lost.

00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:14.960
So we know almost need to break down break down the old structure and rebuild one because it's not working.

00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:19.440
It's not working for families, it's not working for how many divorce now, you know.

00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:21.599
So it's there's a disconnection.

00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:26.079
And you had like the picture perfect life as far as society is.

00:22:29.839 --> 00:22:34.880
Scott, Melissa, boy, and then we have a boy and a girl, the dental practice, beautiful home, beautiful.

00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:36.160
We travel, all the things.

00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:36.480
Yes.

00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:38.880
I almost called my first book picture perfect.

00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:39.200
Yeah.

00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:44.079
You know, but there's the truth behind the smiles because it just aligned us in dentistry.

00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:52.640
But because yes, the family pictures, the one that we use for all our postcards for a dental office, we were picture perfect.

00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:53.359
Yeah.

00:22:53.680 --> 00:22:57.279
But God was I living a lonely life there.

00:22:57.440 --> 00:22:58.400
That's the truth.

00:22:58.640 --> 00:22:59.839
You know, it's so crazy.

00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:03.680
So your ex-husband, well, husband, I don't even so I know.

00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:10.240
I know it's because he he's passed, you know, died, but it's been four years now, which is last week was four years' anniversary.

00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:10.480
Yeah.

00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:12.160
Died by suicide.

00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:18.640
And yeah, it's um yeah, he so he in so he's six foot four, right?

00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:19.519
If I remember right.

00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:23.039
And then like um was an athlete, right?

00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:26.079
Yeah, I mean, he he I I don't even consider an athlete.

00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:27.440
He did uh jujitsu.

00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:28.400
Yeah, you know, he did love.

00:23:28.880 --> 00:23:30.480
Oh good-looking guy, right?

00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:31.200
Dental degree.

00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.559
When I first met him, I mean you know, we were both in early 20s.

00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:36.319
I mean, and he was the dentist of the town.

00:23:36.480 --> 00:23:37.680
He was called uh Dr.

00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:42.640
Scotty to Hottie, you know, everybody, all the women in town knew of him, you know.

00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:48.480
But and then, like, so and that's the like I think that's uh like a point that I want to get across.

00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:50.079
He, in essence, had everything.

00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:53.200
And then he has you, he meets you, you guys get married.

00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:55.759
I know you're you're a wonderful person, you know.

00:23:55.839 --> 00:23:58.319
Like, I can't say enough good things about you and your heart.

00:23:58.480 --> 00:23:59.920
You have two amazing kids.

00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:01.039
He's still not happy.

00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:03.519
He's on top of the world as far as like what the picture is.

00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:05.440
Yeah, successful dental practice.

00:24:05.599 --> 00:24:10.640
We have had one of the most beautiful properties in Alaska, you know, in Wasilla.

00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:16.720
Yeah, and still there was an emptiness because he never went and dug into the past pains.

00:24:16.799 --> 00:24:24.000
You know, we often, no matter what, we we all have different upbringings, but him, it's still a hurt that he was trying to numb.

00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:31.839
You know, I think a lot of times, so I watch like celebrities in a different way, and especially comedians.

00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:35.519
I actually think comedians are like some of the most intelligent people on the planet.

00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:37.599
I think to be funny, you have to be intelligent.

00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:39.440
And you watch them, right?

00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:42.000
And like a Chris Farley or something like that.

00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:46.559
And it's like, okay, the world tells you if you have women, right?

00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:53.039
Significant sexy other, you know, it's like, and if you have the car and the house and the fame, you know, it's like these are happiness.

00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:56.160
And you watch these people that get there and they're the most miserable they ever been.

00:24:56.400 --> 00:25:02.319
Look at Jim Carrey, you know, it's like, and I think it it lies somewhere around of that's what the world is promising us.

00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:05.359
Get this stuff and you will be happy, right?

00:25:05.519 --> 00:25:14.400
And it's like your husband was somebody that had all of the stuff and still couldn't find an amazing woman, had an amazing family, you know, still couldn't find happiness.

00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:21.279
And that's where like people chase this thing, you know, that's like not real, you know.

00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:25.279
They need to chase connection, yeah, right?

00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:29.599
They need to chase faith, they need to chase mission, right?

00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:32.720
And like, don't get me wrong, none of this means be poor either.

00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:37.039
You know, it's like I that's never been my message, even though people think that of me sometimes.

00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:39.200
It's like, I like having a truck that starts.

00:25:39.359 --> 00:25:42.960
I don't like I don't want to worry my where my next meal comes from.

00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:47.279
I like having resources to do good things for other people and not have to think about it, you know?

00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:49.519
It's like, but it's not everything.

00:25:50.319 --> 00:25:50.960
I I do.

00:25:51.119 --> 00:26:04.640
I I feel that you you can if you don't work on your past hurts, the past wounds, yeah, it'll keep showing up in your life, and then it you won't find the happiness of of all the achievements that you have.

00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:05.839
It'll never be enough.

00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:06.319
Yeah.

00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:10.559
And it'll there'll be that void, and you then you'll want to numb that void.

00:26:10.640 --> 00:26:18.559
And that's what I saw in my own husband, kept on numbing and avoiding that void, and it kept on happening.

00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:31.440
These hurts of a for in his mind, oftentimes in divorce, parents will kind of talk bad about the other parent, and that is so damaging at children.

00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:40.160
And I do see that was probably what happened for Scott when his parents went through divorce, and then so it made him look at his mom like she's the bad one.

00:26:40.640 --> 00:26:45.839
And it caused almost like this abandonment, like, oh, my mom left us and this and that.

00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:52.079
And he created this own story in his mind about his mother, and it really hurt him.

00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:56.000
Yeah, and it really got him to shut her out of my life.

00:26:56.079 --> 00:26:58.960
If I just shut her out, it'll be fine.

00:26:59.039 --> 00:27:00.000
Yeah, I'll avoid it.

00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:03.839
Yeah, well, no, but I saw it kind keep coming back, coming back.

00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:07.279
That avoidance, then okay, then he had a hurt with his brother.

00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:07.680
Yeah.

00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:10.640
You know, his brother, you know, then there was a hurt there.

00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:19.200
It just, I feel life will keep uh kind of spiraling things in your life until you deal with it properly.

00:27:19.359 --> 00:27:27.359
Uh, and then of course his dad got terminally ill and he was really close with him, and then that was just, oh, if I lose him now, I have nobody else.

00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:29.119
And he truly felt alone.

00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:33.920
But he wouldn't, uh what I was gonna say, even though he had it all, he couldn't see the love around him.

00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:36.799
He had a lot of friends that loved him, admired him.

00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:38.559
I mean, when he passed, there's so many people.

00:27:38.720 --> 00:27:41.039
I was Scott's best friend, I was Scott's best friend.

00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:42.559
Everybody loved him.

00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:46.880
He was very charismatic and generous too, and that's what I loved about him.

00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:58.880
But because he didn't work on any of his old past wounds and wouldn't see it, no matter what he tried to fill his life with, yeah, he didn't feel that internal um wound that he had.

00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:10.960
You know, I love um how much you're doing for like helping people understand like suicide prevention and like um you work a lot in this, especially around professionals, you know.

00:28:11.119 --> 00:28:21.759
And that's actually such a key point of like this whole conversation because these professionals are the people that seemingly have everything, you know, and like uh do you happen to know the stat for like suicides around dental and professionals?

00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:23.200
Oh, dental and professionals.

00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:34.240
Well, it is kind of a say 80% of dentists have gone through some sort of burnout or uh chronic back pain.

00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:40.079
I don't know how many of them have gotten uh the neck fuse, uh back pain, and an opioid.

00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:41.039
So that's like 80%.

00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:41.920
Crazy.

00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:43.039
80% of them.

00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:47.440
And then that's why it is on the top end of suicide, right?

00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:52.640
And so I got so curious as to why, because you know what interesting happened after my husband passed.

00:28:53.119 --> 00:28:56.319
It was such a ripple, a shock in a dental community.

00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:58.799
Yeah, but then something interesting happened.

00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:07.680
Then dentists started reaching out to me and then sharing their stories, sharing their close call.

00:29:07.920 --> 00:29:08.319
Yeah.

00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:16.319
And now, still to this day, I probably get a text message or a call that we've lost another dentist to suicide.

00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:16.720
Wow.

00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:19.359
So it's it's it's there.

00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:23.039
And I I think I'm starting to get to the whys.

00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:27.359
And because I'm getting so many dentists on as a guest.

00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:27.759
Yeah.

00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:30.960
I'm kind of figuring out, you know, their environment.

00:29:31.119 --> 00:29:39.680
So this is where I'm being called to speak and bring awareness as to why in that profession, because there's other very stressful professions.

00:29:39.839 --> 00:29:41.519
So why dentistry?

00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:45.680
And um, so why do you think what's your current hypothesis?

00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:54.880
Okay, well, I do feel they go into dental school, yeah, and it's it's it's hard.

00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:55.119
Yeah.

00:29:55.279 --> 00:30:01.279
It's gonna be extremely hard as heavyweight, and they're like, okay, they finally graduate, and they're like, whoo, relieved.

00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:02.480
Yeah, perfect, I'll hit the ground.

00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:03.839
Oh, the world's my oyster, yeah.

00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:05.599
Yes, and I'll start making the income.

00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:10.559
But no, you start off and you have half a million dollar in debt.

00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:10.880
Yeah.

00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:17.839
And then not only that, I I know for a fact, because we had a lot of um associates that were right out of school.

00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:24.240
Yeah, Scott had to loan them loans because insurance-wise, you don't get paid right away as a dentist.

00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:26.400
It takes, it takes months.

00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:26.720
Yeah.

00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:30.400
And to build the clientele now, you have to build trust with your patient.

00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:32.000
So you got to build, you know, production.

00:30:32.079 --> 00:30:34.160
And it becomes such a production thing, yeah.

00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:37.039
And not so much treating the patient as a whole.

00:30:37.279 --> 00:30:40.960
So then there's just that constant pressure and precision.

00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.559
They they are all very much as a dentist perfectionists.

00:30:45.119 --> 00:30:46.079
And it's never enough.

00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:49.359
And so you work in millimeters.

00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:56.000
So there's a constant pressure and a perfectionism, and they think uh it's never good enough.

00:30:56.160 --> 00:30:56.400
Yeah.

00:30:56.559 --> 00:30:56.880
Right.

00:30:57.039 --> 00:30:58.640
And also environmental.

00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:00.319
So I do speak about environmental.

00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:05.440
You work close uh quarters with patients with a lot of fear and anxiety.

00:31:05.599 --> 00:31:05.920
Sure.

00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:10.880
And I know this science, it's physiology, that you take that on.

00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:11.279
Yeah.

00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:18.319
As a healer, you take that on on a regular basis, and that causes inflammation because it causes stress in your body.

00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:24.319
Especially probably the better person you are, I would assume, because it's like you take that empathy on even more.

00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:29.039
Oh, people will fly to come see Scott because he was like he could remove that pain.

00:31:29.119 --> 00:31:30.799
It can really hold space for them.

00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:35.759
But over time, if you're always in that state, the whole office is in that fight and flight.

00:31:35.839 --> 00:31:37.920
Like my husband had, I don't see that regularly.

00:31:38.079 --> 00:31:39.599
I still work as a dental hygienist.

00:31:39.920 --> 00:31:41.759
He had three columns of patients.

00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:46.319
So he would see about you know 40, 50 patients a day plus three hygiene.

00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:48.319
So you it's like, go, go, go, go, go, go.

00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:50.160
You barely have time to eat.

00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:53.279
Think so you're in constant state of fight and flight.

00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:56.079
Well, what happens when you're in constant state of fight and flight?

00:31:56.240 --> 00:32:11.279
Your blood vessels constrict, yeah, the oxygen flow to your body, to your cells decreases, but only that in your gut, what happens is that you're not taking your body kind of stops digesting and all that and taking on nutrients.

00:32:11.440 --> 00:32:11.839
Yep.

00:32:12.079 --> 00:32:16.240
So if you're in a constant state, you work five, six days a week.

00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:16.720
Yep.

00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:18.720
And their patient is in fight and flight.

00:32:18.799 --> 00:32:23.279
So you're constantly in that energetic state, yeah, in sympathetic.

00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:26.079
Well, over time, inflammation.

00:32:26.400 --> 00:32:29.920
Dentist is number one suicide profession or uh profession, right?

00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:30.720
Yes, it is.

00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:38.079
It is, and and I think the inflammation, and not only that, I know this is kind of taboo, call it what it is.

00:32:38.319 --> 00:32:42.319
In dental school, they they work manually with amalgam.

00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:42.720
Yeah.

00:32:42.960 --> 00:32:46.400
And amalgam has mercury in it, about what is it, 40%.

00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:48.160
It's made with mercury.

00:32:48.559 --> 00:32:56.160
And now when they're using drills to put amalgam fillings or remove them, they're breathing in those gases of mercury.

00:32:57.119 --> 00:33:00.400
You know, they used to use mercury for syphilis.

00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:05.839
And in fact, I think that's the way uh Blackbeard the Pirate ended up dying or going crazy.

00:33:06.240 --> 00:33:07.200
Well, think of the Mad Hatters.

00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:11.759
There's the Mad Hatters, too, whether they worked with mercury for the felt hats.

00:33:11.920 --> 00:33:12.079
Yep.

00:33:12.319 --> 00:33:15.759
Also, you know, interesting fact, I used to work, you know, on airplanes.

00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:21.519
So I was curious because I remember Flyden saying in the back of the galleys, they had aluminum, right?

00:33:21.599 --> 00:33:22.400
All the galleys.

00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:26.400
And some of them say they get numbing of the hands of working with them constantly.

00:33:26.480 --> 00:33:29.279
And I was like, oh, I wonder if that had mercury in that.

00:33:29.599 --> 00:33:33.359
And no, there's no mercury in any type of aircraft build.

00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:42.400
And in fact, engineers are afraid of even a slight drop in mercury to drop on an aircraft because it's gonna corrode.

00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:44.799
So can you imagine we have that in our mouth now?

00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:46.000
Isn't that something?

00:33:46.160 --> 00:33:49.359
Yeah, it's it's so, but it's okay to have it in our mouth.

00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:49.680
Yeah.

00:33:49.839 --> 00:33:51.599
And I know Scott removed it.

00:33:51.759 --> 00:34:00.799
That's all he did is remove them and put uh, you know, the um ceramic implants and he would do um composite, which is the white ones.

00:34:00.960 --> 00:34:01.119
Yeah.

00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:03.119
But he worked with that constantly.

00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:15.679
So I do feel the a big why, yeah, uh, because it's a big uh neurotoxin, mercury is a big neurotoxin, is that it started affecting his uh his thought patterns.

00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:16.079
Yeah.

00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:21.280
The like it usually causes numbing of the fingers, it causes nerve damage.

00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:24.480
And one thing Scott always talked about is that he had nerve damage.

00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:27.440
He actually took this medication cymbalta.

00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:28.480
He always talked about that.

00:34:28.639 --> 00:34:31.360
He said, I'm taking this because of the nerve damage.

00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:32.079
Wow.

00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:38.880
And what happens neurologically is starts making you not make conscious decisions, foggy brain, you don't remember much.

00:34:39.119 --> 00:34:42.159
And it's exactly what I saw progression-wise.

00:34:42.239 --> 00:34:48.800
It's it's hard to pinpoint exactly one thing, but I think that plays a big role.

00:34:48.960 --> 00:34:56.320
Uh their environment, our nervous system is constantly in a toxic environment in dental office.

00:34:56.400 --> 00:34:59.360
Think about the sonic sounds of a drill.

00:34:59.519 --> 00:35:04.079
Yeah, that is so hard on your nervous system on a daily basis.

00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:17.199
So that's why I'm trying to speak and bring nervous some regulation in a dental practice for the provider, patients, because we have to get out of that fight and flight on a constant basis.

00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:26.320
There's so many extenuating circumstances there, but the basics of it too, it's like um being a dentist is a um trying profession, right?

00:35:26.400 --> 00:35:29.280
You're also a business owner at the same time, most of them, right?

00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:30.960
So you're an entrepreneur too.

00:35:31.039 --> 00:35:38.079
So you have all that stress, like you're saying, you know, and then I think what people tend to do is they tend to escape in one way or another, right?

00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:42.079
Or, you know, you get to the point where it's just like, yeah, I can't take this anymore.

00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:45.599
And we talked a little bit about um faith too.

00:35:45.760 --> 00:35:49.360
You know, it's like um that's one thing that keeps me really grounded, you know.

00:35:49.440 --> 00:35:51.679
I do believe that there's a higher power in this world.

00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:53.679
I don't I don't believe my life is my own.

00:35:53.760 --> 00:35:58.159
I think I'm here to do impactful things for my maker, right?

00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:04.079
And that really guides me when I have the bad day where I don't like where life doesn't make a lot of sense, you know.

00:36:04.320 --> 00:36:12.079
So talk to me what what faith has done in your life to kind of guide you and keep you going through like it's not even close to easy.

00:36:12.239 --> 00:36:14.800
You have two kids now, you know, that are missing dad.

00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:19.599
It's not even close to easy to like supersede past what you have, right?

00:36:19.840 --> 00:36:29.280
No, no, and I always say, I couldn't, people are like, How did you even do it when your husband passed, and there was so much that I had to take on, and I always say, it was God.

00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:30.559
God gave me that strength.

00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:39.840
I know so many people were praying for us, and there's no that's what gave me the strength, and that was my guide all along.

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:50.960
And I believed in God before, you but what I saw even the day my husband decided to, you know, die by suicide.

00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:54.960
I was on the beach and there was like a wave.

00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:56.000
There was a wave.

00:36:56.880 --> 00:36:59.760
Something that's why I was like, There, we're not alone.

00:37:00.079 --> 00:37:00.880
We're never alone.

00:37:01.039 --> 00:37:08.480
Something gave me a nudge to pick up my phone and message my husband and to say, I love you.

00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:13.119
I love you, because I knew he was struggling, his dad was on his last days.

00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:17.119
There, you know, I but I it was there's that wave.

00:37:17.360 --> 00:37:25.280
And even leading up to me finding him in the room and how everything continued.

00:37:25.519 --> 00:37:29.039
I was guided all along what to do next, but I had to listen.

00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:29.360
Yeah.

00:37:29.519 --> 00:37:30.559
And I had to be guided.

00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:34.800
Even when I moved, the why I moved to Arizona, it was God calling me here.

00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:36.400
Yeah, didn't make sense at the time.

00:37:36.480 --> 00:37:38.000
I know I knew nobody.

00:37:38.159 --> 00:37:42.320
And I knew I needed to find a faith-based school for my children because I couldn't do it alone.

00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:54.079
And they needed to be on a daily basis surrounded by people that talk about God, that pray together, and that's a norm because they've had gone through a very horrific day.

00:37:54.320 --> 00:38:01.920
They were there, you know, hearing all the sirens, seeing the paramedics come, seeing it the police, you know, investigating us.

00:38:02.239 --> 00:38:07.039
It was so traumatic to the point when every time they hear sirens, they're like, oh, you know, it would trigger them.

00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:12.639
So I couldn't have done it with them not believing in a higher power as well.

00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:18.960
But my daughter went through her own, like, well, I don't like God because he took away my dad.

00:38:19.280 --> 00:38:21.119
You know, it's so hard to comprehend that.

00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:26.400
When hard things happen, well, why God would make this happen?

00:38:26.639 --> 00:38:28.000
But that's not God.

00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:28.480
Yeah.

00:38:28.719 --> 00:38:44.320
That wasn't God who did that, you know, and and but what God opened up for me was the more I surrendered and prayed and become more in my practice, spiritual practice, more doors open.

00:38:44.639 --> 00:38:47.199
You know, he I know he told me to use my voice.

00:38:47.360 --> 00:38:52.960
That was clear the day my husband passed, because everyone asked me, What should you say?

00:38:53.119 --> 00:38:54.480
I said, Die by suicide.

00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:55.519
Are you sure?

00:38:55.679 --> 00:39:00.400
Like, oh I'm like, oh yeah, I wrote it in arbitrary and I put the hotline, you know, the 988.

00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:07.360
And I made it very open because I knew not talking about it is not gonna solve and bring awareness to others.

00:39:07.519 --> 00:39:08.880
So that was stronger than me.

00:39:09.039 --> 00:39:11.360
I think for me, now that is my guide.

00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:13.039
That's how I write my books.

00:39:13.199 --> 00:39:17.760
Oftentimes I'm writing these books, I'm praying, waking up in the middle of the night, and it flows.

00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:20.960
And oftentimes these words are just given to me.

00:39:21.119 --> 00:39:21.519
Yeah.

00:39:21.760 --> 00:39:25.280
I'm just that vessel to put these messages out there.

00:39:25.519 --> 00:39:34.639
And I truly believe my husband didn't come to church with us, and I he never really talked about believing in a higher power.

00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:37.599
You know, I can't speak for him, but that's what I know.

00:39:37.760 --> 00:39:39.199
He wouldn't come to church with us.

00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:44.880
But for the three days that I sat with him in at the hospital, I prayed over him.

00:39:45.280 --> 00:39:55.360
And when I prayed, and I uh I believe that the soul was still there, even though they told me he is clinically brain dead, he can't hear you.

00:39:56.639 --> 00:39:57.840
I knew he could.

00:39:58.320 --> 00:40:04.239
So I talked to him, I forgave him, I prayed over him, and when I prayed over him, something incredible happened.

00:40:05.599 --> 00:40:15.599
There's a tear I will never forget, a tear came down because he finally surrendered, he finally saw what I kept talking about.

00:40:16.880 --> 00:40:25.119
And there was a difference once he passed, the day he passed, I could tell the soul had left the body.

00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:35.679
And I know there is a higher power, and I know he hasn't left us because there's too many signs that he has given us over the years now.

00:40:35.920 --> 00:40:45.920
And and I think for my children, for grieving to know that God is their father, that they're truly never alone through this, and that dad is still there.

00:40:46.079 --> 00:41:09.199
He's not physically there, but you can always talk to him, you can pray for him, and to be mindful of their their thoughts, they're spiraling into the the traumas, you know, because oftentimes that comes with shame and guilt and could have done enough, but always reminding them that it's important to start your day with prayer, with gratitude, even if your hardest days.

00:41:09.440 --> 00:41:09.679
Yeah.

00:41:09.920 --> 00:41:15.199
And now I can honestly say honestly say that this was a gift.

00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:19.360
The the most horrible times of my life was now a gift.

00:41:19.519 --> 00:41:29.519
I see that because now I have a story that I could connect to the heart or people and and realize that you don't have to hit rock bottom.

00:41:29.599 --> 00:41:34.800
Don't wait till you're that rock bottom to lose everything.

00:41:35.679 --> 00:41:36.320
Start now.

00:41:36.480 --> 00:41:40.480
Start with your kids in believing that they're not alone.

00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:44.159
Start with your kids doing affirmations in front of a mirror.

00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:45.599
Normalize it.

00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:48.480
It has to all start with you, right?

00:41:48.639 --> 00:42:01.360
And normalize it so that then we can have a different generation, you know, generation that's open, has the tools to communicate when it's hard.

00:42:01.440 --> 00:42:04.800
Like for me, I hated conflict and avoided it completely.

00:42:05.039 --> 00:42:09.519
So learning to communicate in conflict is hard, you know?

00:42:09.760 --> 00:42:10.400
It's hard.

00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:12.559
And having boundaries was never a thing.

00:42:12.719 --> 00:42:19.119
I remember doing this breath work session, and it was it was God gives me messages and it was like big bubble of letters, boundaries.

00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:19.920
Yeah.

00:42:20.400 --> 00:42:22.559
And I need to work on that, you know.

00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:28.559
I it's one of my favorite books, probably my favorite book, is Man's Search for Meaning.

00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:34.000
And I'm gonna paraphrase, it's like, um, life isn't what happens to you, it's how you react to it.

00:42:34.079 --> 00:42:39.199
And I think you've you've said it so eloquently, and you've it's set you on this mission.

00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:44.480
And although we would never wish this for you or anybody else for that matter, it's happened, right?

00:42:44.639 --> 00:42:46.480
And now you're using it to do something good.

00:42:46.639 --> 00:42:50.480
And those of you out there that things have happened to you, I don't wish that on you, right?

00:42:50.639 --> 00:42:52.719
But you can make it a purpose and a mission.

00:42:52.880 --> 00:42:57.760
And I really wanted you to see today that like the definition of success is probably not what you think it is.

00:42:58.000 --> 00:43:10.079
Um, I wanted to walk you through the journey that uh Mel and I had a little bit, you know, about interacting with success at uh younger ages, and like having my own success now, it's it's definitely impacted me to want it.

00:43:10.159 --> 00:43:13.280
Like, I never got why you get there and you don't help people, you know.

00:43:13.360 --> 00:43:17.519
Like I never understood that, and like I didn't understand the selfishness around success.

00:43:17.679 --> 00:43:23.039
And so, like, learn, it's like, yes, have your success, but have it mission related, in my opinion.

00:43:23.199 --> 00:43:24.800
Yes, still have connection.

00:43:24.880 --> 00:43:30.880
The number one regret everybody has successful business people included, is they didn't send more time with their family, right?

00:43:31.039 --> 00:43:35.599
Like, realign what success is, you know, and we need more good-hearted people making it.

00:43:35.760 --> 00:43:41.119
And those of you that are out there that are doubting yourselves, you're probably the one that needs to start today, right?

00:43:41.440 --> 00:43:45.760
You out there that you're not even watching my podcast that's full of themselves, you know.

00:43:45.920 --> 00:43:52.400
You out there, you're the ones I'm wishing won't make it because you do the horrible things that the world is having done, right?

00:43:52.559 --> 00:43:55.360
There's not enough of you good ones making it to success.

00:43:55.519 --> 00:43:56.559
So make your success.

00:43:56.719 --> 00:43:58.320
You good ones, make it to success.

00:43:58.480 --> 00:43:59.679
The world needs more kind hearted back.

00:44:00.639 --> 00:44:04.239
Like Mel Sue, underdogs, bootstrappers, and game changers.

00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:06.880
And I want to thank you so much for sharing the stories today.

00:44:07.039 --> 00:44:09.360
Like I think it's incredibly impactful for our audience.

00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:12.719
And I love having you in my life and the discussions we have.

00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:14.480
And we'll have to do it again.

00:44:14.800 --> 00:44:15.679
Yes, absolutely.

00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:16.880
I I'm honored.

00:44:16.960 --> 00:44:23.760
And I I always say now I'm so particular who I do business with, and we so align your faith being of service.

00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:26.880
And that's why I love coming to the studio because you get it.

00:44:27.199 --> 00:44:30.000
You get why I'm here, you know, and sharing the message.

00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:30.719
So I'm honored.

00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:32.079
We always have the best conversations.

00:44:32.400 --> 00:44:33.119
Yeah, absolutely.

00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:34.320
And yet another good one.

00:44:34.480 --> 00:44:35.920
Thanks for dropping in with us today.

00:44:36.159 --> 00:44:38.079
Do you want to drop your podcast, your social media?

00:44:38.320 --> 00:44:38.800
Yes, yeah.

00:44:38.880 --> 00:44:39.039
Yeah.

00:44:39.199 --> 00:44:39.760
Not alone.

00:44:39.920 --> 00:44:40.079
Yep.

00:44:40.239 --> 00:44:44.719
Uh not alone with Melissa Sue Methfin, all the platforms, YouTube, Spotify.

00:44:45.119 --> 00:44:51.039
Uh also my uh hashtag on Instagram is Melissa underscore gratitude.

00:44:51.199 --> 00:44:54.079
I have my website, Melissamathfin.com.

00:44:54.480 --> 00:44:54.960
So yeah.

00:44:55.599 --> 00:44:56.559
You're doing so much good in the world.

00:44:56.960 --> 00:44:57.119
Thank you.

00:44:57.840 --> 00:44:58.719
Yeah, I appreciate it.

00:44:58.960 --> 00:45:01.199
Until next time, underdog, see you then.

00:45:03.280 --> 00:45:07.360
Hello and welcome to underdogs, bootstrappers, and game changers.

00:45:07.519 --> 00:45:12.559
This is for those of you that are starting with nothing and using business to change their stars.

00:45:12.719 --> 00:45:16.480
Motivating people who disrupted industry standards.

00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:19.039
This is the real side of business.

00:45:19.119 --> 00:45:20.320
This isn't Shark Tank.

00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:25.119
My aim with this podcast is to take away some of the imaginary roadblocks that are out there.

00:45:25.280 --> 00:45:29.679
I want to help more underdogs because underdogs are truly who changed the world.

00:45:29.840 --> 00:45:32.239
This is part of our Content for Good initiative.

00:45:32.400 --> 00:45:37.280
All the proceeds from the monetization of this podcast will go to charitable causes.

00:45:37.360 --> 00:45:39.440
It's for the person that wants it.